Revision letter

There were many mistakes on my paper so i understand why i got the grade i got. One mistake that i have to fix is connecting my ideas to one another.Most of my ideas are distant and have nothing to do with the other. Another mistake is i have to back up my points with proof.I believe most of my points are just statements and not backed up. My organization is off and the paragraphs and information is out of place. The paragraphs would make more sense if they were organized better. The last and most important thing that i have to improve, is my research. I don't think i have enough research on the topic. Since citation is another problem that i have which is also linked to research, i have to improve my research to have a full and complete citation.